'And the Consequence was' by Jennifer Price

This piece was commended in the Mostly Life Competition.

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And the Consequence was ....



Heaven. Fluffy cloud etc. God and the angel Gabriel play consequences.


Gabriel: God, have you ever played consequences?

God: Well, no, but I did create the world. I know it’s not playing but ....

Gabriel: Nah, I mean Consequences the game – at dinner parties and stuff?

God: Er, no, I suppose I haven’t. It’s quite a while since I went to a dinner party. People don’t like to invite me – it’s always Jesus who gets to go. You know the sort of thing; if you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be... it’s like I don’t exist.

Gabriel: Well, hey; we’ve got a couple of hours. Let’s kick back and play.

God: Okay. What do I have to do?

Gabriel: Oh, it’s great – you’ll love it. What you do is you have start with a descriptive word, like ‘cheeky’ –

God: Or God-fearing?

Gabriel: Yep, sure: cheeky, sexy, God-fearing … whatever floats your boat. And then we swap paper and list one person’s name, then the same for a second person, then where they met, what he said, what she said, what the consequence was, then the last one is what the world thought about it.

God: Then do they go to heaven or to hell?

Gabriel: Er … neither. It’s just a game.

God: Oh, alright. It’s just that it’s called ‘Consequences’-

Gabriel: I know, but it’s only meant for fun,

God: It’d be better if it actually had consequences.

Gabriel: Hmm. Why don’t we just play it without consequences? You know, just until you get the hang of it … I guess if you want to change the rules afterwards there’s not much any of us can do about it, is there? Ha ha!

God: Yes, alright. Let’s play.

Gabriel: [claps hands together] Alrighty then! Now, get your pencil ready ….

Some time passes ….

Gabriel: Okay, you read yours out, and then I’ll read mine.

God: Right. [God unfolds his piece of paper.] Ahem. The childlike George met the misguided Tony at a sushi bar. He said Hey, Bud, let’s start a war, he said Whatever you say, darling! And the consequence was a big old mess, and the world thought Isn’t that illegal? [God chuckles] Oh yes that’s funny – at a sushi bar! That’s a good one …

Gabriel: Okay, my go. [Gabriel unfolds his own piece of paper.] Right. Ha ha! Okay, the wrinkly John met the god-fearing [Gabriel clicks his finger and points at God] – liking that one, aren’t we? Where was I? Oh yes – the god-fearing Sarah in Kentucky Fried Chicken. He said Do you want to be president? She said What does that word mean? The consequence was the earth moved and the world thought We should’ve seen that coming!

[God and Gabriel look at each other and laugh.]

Gabriel: [wiping a tear from the corner of his eye] Oh, God, I do like this game. But maybe it’s a good thing it is only a game. I mean, humans who behaved like this – that’d be one for the ‘whoops’ bin, wouldn’t it?

God: Oh, I don’t know. I still think it’d be better with real consequences.


Jennifer Price